I keep an eye on search terms visitors have used to find this site and, when a particular query is used over and over again and, when I see that these internet explorers were unlikely to have found what they were looking for, I try to think of content that might offer my inquisitive friends that which they seek.
For example, several searchers have used a variation on “the girl in the towel at the beginning of Jason Goes to Hell” to find my site. Anyone who has seen Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday knows exactly who and what these almost certainly just-this-side-of-post-pubescent visitors were looking for. They were looking for the lovely young woman who, it turns out, was an FBI agent acting as bait in a trap set by the Feds in order to capture and kill poor, befuddled Jason.
This woman, as the search query indicates, does in fact spend most of her brief screentime in a towel. But before donning the gravity-defying swatch of linen, this brave agent reveals an undeniably alluring and wasp-waisted figure in all its glory. I can only guess that a few boys (and maybe some curious girls), after viewing this scene, hoped to find more of the attractive and nude Jason-killer, and had not yet figured out how to turn off Google safe-search.
They must have been disappointed, then, when they came across my review of Jason Goes to Hell and, instead of this:
They found this:
Well, I never want my visitors—even those who stumbled upon my site in search of soft-soft-core porn—to be disappointed. So I decided to put together a profile of the attractive actress who played FBI Agent Elizabeth Marcus, otherwise known as the girl in the towel at the beginning of Jason Goes to Hell.
Her real name is Julie Michaels. Ms Michaels came to early notice acting opposite Patrick Swayze in the classic bouncer-with-a-heart-of-gold film, Road House.
This, however, is not her only connection to the late, great Swayze; Michaels is also the naked woman who beats holy hell out of a team of FBI agents, including Keanu, in Point Break. Her character was dubbed Freight Train and, I think we can all agree, naked never looked so dangerous (by the way, Ms Michaels has permission to use that last line as the title of her autobiography).
She was a vengeful spirit in Witchboard 2, and also starred in the John Harwood film, A Time to Revenge, a heartwarming tale in which a coupla war vets come home to “enjoy the pleasures of being cowboys.”
Now, if you’re still only interested in Ms Michaels’ womanly parts, you’ll be pleased to know that she appears topless in Road House and fully nude in A Time to Revenge.
However, though she has been known to bare all in a scene or three, Ms Michaels is also an accomplished stunt performer, having done stunt work on Batman Forever, Titanic, The Scorpion King, and—of special note to we here at TheFinalGirl—Halloween H20.
She continued to perform stunts until 2005’s Domino and 2007’s Rush Hour 3.
More recently, Ms Michaels has appeared in a variety of popular TV shows, including The Big Bang Theory, Southland, and Weeds. She also hosts the Extreme Racing League on the Fox News Network.
So, to the boys out there so mesmerized by Ms Michaels’ admittedly attractive form, you now know that there’s a name, a face, and a host of accomplishments behind that behind.
Consider yourselves educated.